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I bring you my top 10 tips to perform at your best. This list has been compiled from my ten years of experience in the design industry as a landscape architect, and a team leader, transitioning into motherhood and now into coaching and business ownership. Each phase of my life has required new adjustments. Read my tips and use what resonates with you in your current situation rather than trying to apply everything. We are all unique people in unique situations with individual needs. This list is not intended to be all-encompassing but rather to cover the things that gave me the most significant shifts in my life.
Leverage Curiosity
I have moved to Germany and learnt German over the past year or two and speaking another language has felt really challenging to me. It’s outside my comfort zone, as someone that already found socialising hard in my mother tongue. I’m not perfect with German but with many topics, I can get by.
This challenge really pushed me to find a way to show up differently in social settings. I realised very recently that if I go into social situations with a mindset of curiosity, then I don’t feel the same need to perform socially. Instead, I can be at ease wondering about others. What are their interests and beliefs, what drives them, and what experiences have they had? This mindset shifts me from being scared of saying the wrong thing and sitting quietly, to initiating conversations with many people. I am starting to ‘perform better’ because my goal is not the outcome (to be good in social situations) but of enjoying the process.
Once I had this insight I started to realise the value of curiosity in every aspect of life. I encourage you to start going through life curious and always asking questions. See what happens. How does it influence your relationships, your project outcomes, and your joy every day?
Now that I’m tuned into it, I’m seeing information on the power of curiosity everywhere! Here are some book recommendations on the topic.
If you have a positive experience I would love to hear about. Comment at the bottom of the article!
Self-Acceptance is King to Perform at Your Best
We are human and we share all the conditions that exist in being human. I think we often forget that. We all know what it’s like to feel sad, jealous, anxious, and shame. So many of us feel like there is something wrong with us for feeling those things. I think self-acceptance is a huge topic and I don’t have all the answers but I will share what I found to be useful. If this resonates then keep looking for more resources on the topic.
Know and Express Your Emotions without Judgement
Dr Jonice Webb is a great resource.
Know Yourself
How can you accept yourself if you do not really know who you are? Some free tools I like are:
- The Sparketype Assessment tool helps you find your passion or work that lights you up.
- Via Character Strengths Assessment helps you understand your personality.
The form below will enable you to download my free pdf of 72 values which you can cut out and order to help you understand the real you.
Reframe Your Resistence
Get out your journal. Write down the things that you still don’t accept about yourself. Now for each one ask yourself – how has this quality been helpful in the past? How could it be helpful now?
Failure Doesn't Exist
Failure is a perception and something may be seen as a failure to one person and not to another. If you see it as the opposite of success then think about success for a second. Can you define what you think success is to you, not what society tells you it is?
I don’t believe in failure. I think that everyone is on an adventure and at some times during the journey the learning gets tough. You might have to try things several times before you find a way forward, but it’s through trying things out that we learn. To keep going you need to keep putting one foot after the other.
When we get scared to fail we stop in our tracks, we stop progressing, we stop learning and we stop being curious about the journey itself. It’s normal for things to feel challenging, but I have found that when I think about challenges as a means to grow, then I am able to keep going, which gets me through the challenge faster.
Find the Joy in the Process
When we are too goal-oriented we forget to enjoy the process. If we are living milestone to milestone or goal to goal then we are spending so much of our time without joy. Check out my article ‘Shift Your Mindset to Achieve Goals‘ which explores bringing more joy to your life.
Celebrate Everything
Speaking of joy, don’t forget to celebrate everything before moving to the next thing. Pause! If you don’t stop to celebrate then you aren’t acknowledging what you have achieved along the way. This is a huge missed opportunity to foster more motivation and to practice living an intentional and mindful life which includes moments of joy.
You've Got Nothing to Proove
Do you feel like you are working hard because you need to prove you are good enough? This can lead to burnout. Trust me, I know. I could tell you that you are enough because I do believe you are, but you need to reach a point where you believe that yourself. In my experience, this takes changing limiting beliefs and thought patterns. This work is hard and I recommend working with a coach or a therapist depending on where you are at.
Community is Everything
Since moving to Germany and starting up a business on my own as a solo person working from home, I have come to realise just how important community is. I lost all of mine suddenly by uprooting and it has shown me the value of it. Build one around you in all aspects of your life. Be active in building it. If you feel there is a gap in your community then get active and fill it. Some of my thoughts:
- Utilise apps such as Peanut and Meetup. Be brave – it’s worth the hard work to find people who light you up.
- Get involved in online communities.
- Find your own way of meeting people. For me, one on one is best so I’m reaching out to people personally and meeting them that way. Initial connections are usually online.
- Have hobbies in your life ideally that take you out of the house to meet others.
- One needs more than immediate family, so don’t fall into the trap of playing it safe and always staying home on the comfort of the couch.
- Meeting new people who are different to you opens doors to possibilities you wouldn’t have thought up yourself.
Practice Gratitude
I have found this to be a bit like getting fit. It’s not something I did much at the start after learning about it but I have adopted it slowly over time and my mindset has changed from feeling like a victim to feeling empowered and grateful nearly every day. I think it helps to be intentional at the start by introducing gratitude on a daily basis by writing it down or talking about it with whomever you live with. This could be part of your mealtime routine.
Critical Thinking is Helpful
See everything as an opportunity to apply your mind. If you can truly absorb what you learn, form an opinion about it and then apply it to solving problems, then this approach will set you up to deliver huge value in your work. It does this because it gets you really engaged in what you are doing, and if you can link your work to your values, even better!
Drop the Need to Perform
To finish up, I will discuss the general feeling of needing to perform, the whole point of the article. I want to challenge the notion and I want you to ask yourself why you want to perform better in the first place. Is it for you or is it because you care what others think of you?
If you could drop the fear of failure and remove the need to prove yourself, could you then drop the need to perform and instead replace it with curiosity, compassion for others, purpose and joy for the everyday? What would life be like?
Want to Work With Me?
Coaching has changed my life and I want to help you change yours. I help designers find their passion, build the life they want and have the impact they want on the projects they work on. I do this through evidence-based coaching tools. If you want to know more about what I offer then contact me below. I look forward to working with you!
